It Costs Nothing to be Kind

"People will never remember what you said or what you did, but they'll never forget how you made them feel." -Carl W. Buehner

Photo credits to Thayer Glidewell

I just shared a post on Facebook that I originally shared eight years ago. When I originally shared that post, I had no clue that eight years later, our family would be grieving the death of one of our own to suicide. The pain his parents and siblings are walking through is unimaginable. Our family is forever changed.

In honor and memory of Hawk. Photo Credit to: Martin Adams

In the original post shared, John W. Schlatter wrote. It was a story about one person randomly choosing kindness on a Friday afternoon and forever changed another person's life. This small act of kindness kept Kyle from choosing suicide that afternoon. I can only imagine the gratitude Kyle's parents have for his friend.

Photo credit to Anna Tarazevich

The last paragraph in the story says: "Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture, you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way."

You NEVER know how deeply people hurt. Some of the ones with the biggest smile, boisterous personality, and life of the party are the ones that suffer the most silently. Remember Robin Williams and the laughter he brought to the world, yet his silent suffering became too much for him. A kind word or gesture can be life-altering.

Photo credit to Kelli McClintock

Recently, I had to have a conversation with my kids because of how adults treated them. Yes, you read that right. It was a great lesson explaining just because they are adults does not mean they are mature, kind people. The way they acted showed their immaturity and lack of integrity.

I hate to see my children suffer, but at the same time, when they experience the unkindness of an adult, it allows me to teach them how to treat people differently. The momma bear in me wants to lash out, but when I take a moment, I choose to be thankful. It is an opportunity to teach them how not to be toward others.

I often tell my kids we never know the battles other people fight. None of us wear a sign showing all the struggles we quietly bear. People are doing all they can to survive. Being kind to strangers or people we know costs nothing but can be life-changing. It is the ripple effect.

Photo Credit to Mary Oloumi

All it takes is a smile. A simple hello. How are you doing? To make someone's day better. You may never know that you completely changed their world, but they know your kindness gave them life.

Or all it takes is to ignore someone intentionally. Like in the story, running into someone and not acknowledging your action or choosing to leave someone out. Your lack of kindness can change a family's life forever. You nor their family may ever know your actions broke that person. If you did know, how heavy would that burden be for you to carry for the rest of your life?

Our family will forever have an empty seat at the table. We are not able to change the course forced upon us, but we can allow his death to not be in vain. We can choose kindness. We can look to be the life-altering change in someone else's life. We can make sure people we know and encounter never have to live with the pain of suicide.

Phot Credit to Beverly Kimberly

Be part of the change. Choose kindness.

*I do want to acknowledge the above situations do not directly reflect the suicide in our family, but it does for others.

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You can find suicide statistics on the CDC website Suicide Data and Statistics | Suicide Prevention | CDC